Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Becoming A More Positive Person

 Where do I even begin with this one? ... At first I was envisioning naming this something along the lines of 'Removing Negativity' but then I was thinking, great so i'm about to start a positive post with the word  negativity? How ironic is that. And I guess that's where we
tend to go a little wrong. We become so focused on becoming more positive as a person but we are constantly using negative words/phrases to talk about it that it kind of defeats the object a little bit. Would you agree? ...

 For example we are so immune to negativity that a lot of the time we aren't even aware that it's there, right in front of our faces. And it's even the little things i.e. the news , the stories we read, social media and the list goes on and on. For me personally a lot of it is focused around the use of words in our day to day lives. And for that reason, and more, I decided that I would begin to use these type of words less and less, if not at all, in my day to day business. Words such as 'can't/cannot' 'don't/do not' I try to refrain from using as much as possible because I feel this attracts the exact opposite of what it is we are wanting. This goes back to when I read a book which a lot of you may have heard or read about already called The Secret which in a nutshell is about The Law of Attraction and what people from all over the world have done to achieve their goals in life or change the way their life is going. This is just an example but for me it is something that I often think back to and it helps to refocus my mind on the positive things.

For those who are not familiar with The Law of Attraction it is basically as simple as 'you get out of life what you put in' meaning if you are thinking in a negative way those are exactly the type of things you will attract. Or if you are using words such as can't and don't then you will put out into the world and it will not allow you to go any further. In order to achieve anything you must be positive. If you are wanting that dream job but you keep telling yourself "I can't get this I don't have the right qualifications or fit the part" then the world will be like, 'okay sure you don't want those things so you won't get them' kind of thing. BUT if you were to stop and think for a second and then change it to "I can get this job I know I can" then the world will give it to you in abundance.

Now before you stop reading and start thinking 'yeah okay if only it was that simple blah blah blah' then everyone would get everything they wanted and be rich and live in massive mansions and drive fancy cars etc then you're right, it isn't that simple but in fact it's a lot bigger than that. It is more so training your brain to believe in yourself, your dreams and goals and what you want out of life. Hence becoming a more positive person. It may not happen for everyone like that and some people may not even believe in it, which is perfectly okay, i'm just saying that for me focusing on the positives in life will give you a lot more motivation than thinking the worst all of the time.

Again it isn't just that easy, people deal with and suffer with a lot of different things in life. Good and bad. And someone who personally suffers with extreme anxiety and depression and have for a number of years I know first hand that when someone is telling you to think more positively blah blah that is the last thing that you are going to do. Because when you suffer with such mental health as that you can literally see nothing but the worst in every single situation.

Suffering with extreme anxiety and depression for most of my 20s is actually the reason i'm writing this post and one of the reasons that I decided to look to other things for help apart from medication. Because for me, medication was never going to be something which could be long term for me, I never wanted to rely on a tablet to make me feel better. And in all honesty some of the medication prescribed for this are all based around the idea of adding extra endorphins and happy hormones into your body so you can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was also for this reason that I also started to read more positive and self help books (even though I know this a taboo subject for a lot of people as they would not see this as a helpful tool in helping someone but more so following someone else's ideals - but this is a subject for another time) and when I stumbled across The Secret* thanks to a friend of mine.

I know i've literally been rambling for 15 minutes now it seems, but I said all this so that I am able to share how far I have actually come on my journey of overcoming some major obstacles in my life where a lot derived from this feeling of deep depression and anxiety. And if you could only see how far I have come as a person over the last 18months you probably wouldn't recognise me.

That's why I thought I would share with you the few things in which I have done and those I still do to ensure I can stay on a more positive path in my life

Firstly for me personally, I had to admit that I did suffer with my mental health because once I did I was able to look at things a whole lot differently. But even if for you it isn't based around your mental health these tips and advice may still help you.

  • Speak to someone if you think you are suffering with any mental health it could be anyone from your partner, friends or family. Even a counsellor like I did. Discussing any kind of problem or issue out loud is one of the best things for you. Although it may not be easy at first.
  • Never be afraid to be honest with yourself and those around you never be ashamed to ask for help no matter how big or small. 
  • Remove yourself from any relationships which are bad for you whether this be a partner or friends. Loving yourself is the first priority and if those who are closest to you are not able to offer support in any form to you during a difficult time then they are not meant to be. No matter how difficult it is, and believe me I know it is not easy but it is most definitely worth it.
  • Work out whether it be going to the gym, or walking a dog or going for walks with a partner of friends. Anything which can get you active even for 30 minutes a day, especially in the fresh air , it can do wonders for your health and overall mood.
  • Try to use positive words in your day to day and remove words such as 'can't/don/t' although this may not sound easy to do, once you get into the habit of doing so it will become apart of your life like anything else. It may not be all the time but little changes can make a huge impact and such a difference especially in your mood. 
I also do things such as reading as little as possible negative news as possible, removing myself from any situation which may make me uncomfortable or feel badly about myself. I highly recommend reading The Secret* and any other books which are available like this. 

If you have any tips or advice or would like to share your story and journey then please leave a comment below or email me directly if you would like to talk one on one. 

* This link is an affiliate link, this does not affect you the consumer in any way but it may mean I receive a small commission if you purchase through this link. 


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