Monday, 4 April 2016

Regaining A Little Focus

Okay, so this post is going to be a little bit more insightful than usual into my personal life as opposed to just focusing on my love of fashion and beauty but i'm hoping it will at least help some people if they are suffering from the same thing as I am, or feeling a certain way about with themselves or life.  

From personal experience I know how difficult it can be to remain focused and positive about something in your life in which you are doing, what ever it may be, as it's easy to let the negative engulf you and suck out all the motivation you pretty much had. 

Basically we let the bulls*t get to us sometimes and I wanted to let you know that i've come to learn that that's okay. It's not the end of the world if you lose focus on something, for example a goal you're trying to achieve or anything, in fact it can sometimes be a blessing as it let's you take a step back and reassess the situation and come back stronger than ever. 

Recently diagnosed with depression, it's easier for me to now understand why I haven't been feeling myself or good enough to achieve a lot of what i'm dreaming of I suppose. I have been through quite a difficult few years for various different reasons, as I imagine a lot of other people have been and everyone finds their own way of dealing with things, whether it's good for them or not. 

My way of dealing with the low points in my life were to bury my head and go into one of my many routines (yes, I also suffer with OCD) and so I would go to the gym for an hour before doing a 12 hour shift at work, come home and grab a quick meal and go to bed. Repeating exactly the same routine the day after, and so on. I skipped meals and let my social life go out the window as I felt it was much better for me to shut myself away rather than speaking anyone about my problems. 

This has gone on for many years and it was only within the last month that I have been diagnosed with depression and started speaking to a counsellor about my issues so that I can let go of the past and move forward with my life. The reason it has taken me this long to open up about it is I guess in reality I was scared of what people might say about me and I wanted to show I was independent and didn't need help from anyone else. I was wrong. I do need help and over the years I have pushed those people away from me who have been wanting to help me from day one. Because unlike me, they could see something was wrong even if I wasn't able to admit it or see it for myself. 

I have become so negative over the last few years and cut myself off from the world and any kind of social life that I was beginning to accept that being alone and independent (as I like to think I was - now I see I was nothing but stubborn) was the way I was always going to be. This has led to me losing friendships and very important relationships with people, which I fear I may never be able to get back. 

However, I have now took the first steps in taking back control of my life and focusing on the issues I have and ways in which I can deal with these, by learning about them, letting go and moving forward. 

I just wanted to let you guys know that it's acceptable to lose your way sometimes and it's easy to feel alone even if you have so many wonderful people around you. Don't give up though, you will start to feel more accepting of yourself and this will allow you to move forward in a positive manner. 

This will all come with practice, letting go and opening up about how you truly feel. Don't be scared to admit you need help sometimes, this is very normal as I have now discovered. 

My tips for regaining a little more focus in your life again are;

Speak to someone -  be open and honest and let them know how you feel 
Accept your flaws - everyone has them and that's okay it makes us who we are 
Get rid of negativity  -  i.e. let go of the past and those holding you back, surround yourself with positive and like minded people 
Have a goal - have something you want to aim for and make notes on how this can be achieved
Be Honest - with yourself, this is key to moving forward believe me 

I know this was a little different from my usual post but I hope you have found it helpful. If you would like to know anything else more about my journey on re discovering myself and regaining my focus then leave me a comment below and i'll keep you guys updated on my therapy. 

As this post goes live i'll be starting my second therapy session, fingers crossed I see a change. 

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